Girl talk… It’s what’s for lunch!

So yesterday I had arranged to take a day to spend as Caden. While I was getting ready, my friend Rachel messaged me about joining me for lunch. I was ecstatic; I had someone to share my daytime Caden time with. So we arranged where to meet.

I met her at the restaurant, and her response upon seeing me in person for the first time was that I looked adorable. I wasn’t shooting for adorable, but hey, I’ll take it! So we ordered lunch, and girl talk ensued. So many topics, so little time. Before we knew it, our lunch was pushing late into the afternoon.

She had confided in me she had never been too big on makeup; it had never been a huge necessity for her, and she felt simplicity was better. But she seemed almost giddy when I suggested we go to Ulta in two weeks and get makeovers. It will be my first professional makeover, so I’m pretty excited too. But throughout the afternoon, we both admitted to feeling giddy and happy. The conclusion we came to; we both had an instant girlfriend; one who we shared a bond with we couldn’t share with anybody else. That being where we had worked at previously.

We briefly discussed Mrs. Ex-wife and how she came to tell Rachel and her husband. I’m still in a very good spot with that; look at the happiness it brought me when Rachel told me she knew! How can I be mad about that? And to top it off, it backfired on her; she didn’t get the result she wanted AND in fact, it made Rachel and I even better friends!

Sure, there is no telling who else she told, but they’ve never said anything if they do know. Very few friends have filtered out of my life since that breakup, so I can only surmise they feel like Rachel, or they don’t know.

In the case of Drug and Chesty, I hesitate to inquire if Mrs. Ex-wife said anything to them. If they do indicate she mentioned it to them, it then creates a situation where I either have to deny it to their face, which I’m completely against, or I will feel compelled to tell them, just like I told Rachel when she brought it up.

Miss Girlfriend feels the same way; there is no sense in creating a situation if one does not exist. Why borrow trouble? Right?!

So while I was recounting the details of my day to Miss Girlfriend over dinner at this awesome little Trattoria, she told me she’d like to visit with Rachel. She explained that suddenly, her world opened up a little bit more too. She had somebody to talk to about it, she was no longer shouldering it alone. Which made perfect sense to me. I had hoped to set something like that in place when I’d pondered telling her co-worker; but I had not realized all of the benefits that came with it as far as Miss Girlfriend was concerned. Her arguments were suddenly exact carbon copies of mine. Her needs were copies of mine. I really did not see that coming.

So now our world is a little bit bigger, I feel validated and confirmed. I exist on a greater scale; I am not merely a construct within my mind. I have form and function as a person. I have friends, and I have value to those friends.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane


3 thoughts on “Girl talk… It’s what’s for lunch!

  1. I think sometimes we need to let go of our expectations and allow people more credit than we give them. Easier said than done though!! 🙂

    I’m glad your friend is supportive and encouraging and that Miss Girlfriend also has someone to talk to now. (It’s important for us!!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree, as does Miss Girlfriend. I often worried she would feel like my only cheerleader and the weight of that may eat at her and be cause for her to develop resentment. I know in my case not feeling alone in this helped me to do away with my guilt and shame. So it is my sincere hope knowing she isn’t alone in this will bolster her. She is an amazing woman, and my life is so much fuller for her being in it.

      Ever & Always,
      Caden Lane

      Liked by 1 person

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