So this morning I go onto Facebook to find a message from a member of the community. I cannot say friend, as we had never spoke before their “friend request,” but I try to allow as many people in the CD/TG spectrum on my list as I can. It is my target audience after all. She went into a brief intro and “how-do-you-do,” and then sort of launched into a rant.
Her rant was simply that I, “tend to intellectualize crossdressing too much.” For a few moments, I tried to ponder why that would be a bad thing. I never really could come with an answer. From my perspective; you understand something the deeper into the subject matter you delve. There are aspects to this which we barely skim over on a daily basis and our collective understanding of it really is at an infancy of sorts.
I fail to see how anybody can do something and not ask the relevant questions of why or how. Unless they simply would not like the answers they come upon. So for perspective and to say I’ve done my due diligence, I spent some time on that girls Facebook page. The best answer I could come up with is; she is a fetish dresser. You will note I do not say “just” a fetish dresser. Everyone is capable of growth. Without deeper context, I’ve no way of knowing how long she has been dressing. For all I know, fetish dressing is just a waypoint through her gender spectrum growth. Maybe she is fearful of that growth and where it may go in the future. As I’ve said earlier, I feel as TG/CD we tend to have our own little puberty or sorts; while we don’t go through hormonal or body changes, we have to learn certain social graces and skills.
My articles are not entirely meant to intellectualize or rationalize what we do or who we are. They represent a personal exploration of who I am, an expression of my thoughts and feelings, stories of hurdles and bumps I come to along the way. If along the way some self discovery happens worthy of intellectual debate or discussion, so be it. That’s all part of the learning process.
I suppose the positive take away from this is; never be fearful of who you are, or where you may end up. Fear has a nasty way of being a crippling emotion. It can hold you in your tracks until the moment of opportunity or decision has passed; thereby guaranteeing a sense of regret and longing. Never be afraid of what you may discover about yourself. Ignoring the truth means you are merely deluding and oppressing yourself. There are too many people out there who will delude or oppress you; why would you do that to yourself?
Lastly, please do me a personal favor, but also the community as a whole; pay positivity forward, let negativity die upon your ears. Build other girls and ladies up, be sincere, but build them up in a constructive, positive way. Negativity among ourselves fixes nothing. It helps or heals no one. It builds nothing, it contributes to no great or noble cause. Because of who we are, there are those who would bully us. Again, why would we do such a thing to ourselves when others are so happy to heap their abuses upon us? If your day to day life has negativity, allow your positivity to thrive in your feminine aspect or life. Make it your happy place, and pay that happiness and positivity forward.
Ever & Always,