Well all, I received the email i was waiting on. My General Practitioner emailed me to tell me she was forwarding my demographic sheet to a local Doctor. I have some misgivings though. She is not a endocrinologist, she is a Functional Medicine specialist, who works in bioidentical hormone replacement. One would hope all medicine would be functional.
So I find myself wondering if it will be a good fit. Its my hope that this is not a dead end, because it will certainly lower my faith in my Doctors level of discernment and her understanding of what I need. So here is to hoping it works out!
Ever & Always,
Okay, so today before I laid down to sleep, I messaged my Doctor using my online medical app which allows me to email my doctors. I was inquiring about her efforts to get my endocrinologist referal. Apparently, she has had issues locating a local endo who is able or willing to manage my care. So she asked me how far away I was willing to travel. I gave her a rough idea of how far I would go, but also asked her how often I’d b expected to go, or if she would be able to mnage my care once they established a profile for me. So far, no answer to my second e-mail, but I did message her well after closing hours. So I’m not expecting to find out anything until close of business tomorrow.
On a great note, when i wrote my initial e-mail i put my name of record, but beneath my name I put (Cadence). Her response to me addressed me as Cadence only. I’ve been referred to as Cadence many times, but I must say, this particular time warmed my heart, and made me feel giddy and happy. I made sure to thank her for that little effort, and let her know how happy it made me. She certainly appears to get it, and that pleases me above all else.
Ever & Always,
So Thursday of this past week I had an appointment with my psychologist. It was my first one since telling her I was ready for hormones. By the way, I’m still waiting to hear from my GO on my endo referral, but she told me two weeks ago when I had my appointment with her that she’d be gone a week.
I didn’t get to go to this appointment dressed either, but I decided to not block out the feminine mannerisms I display when dress. I allowed myself to cross my legs at the knee, did not mask my hand gestures, assumed a re lined position on the couch and simply allowed myself to exude Cadence confidence.
My doctor commented within a few minutes the amount of confidence and comfort I was exuding. She also described my demeanor as a quiet dignity. She also mentioned my poise, all of this on display despite being dressed in drab male attire. She was ecstatic that I took her advice and was able to integrate my two aspects. She understood that it was simply me trying to be comfortable, and that integration isn’t a long term solution for me.
One thing that doing that allowed me to do was to sit on the couch and not have one of her overstuffed pillows in my lap. I noticed long ago that when I talk with her as Cadence, the pillow stays on the couch. When I go in male mode, that pillow goes on my lap before she even enters the room. So it holds true that all of my behaviors and mannerisms were distinctly Cadence that day.
But I really liked that phrase she used, “quiet dignity.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
Unfortunately Miss Jennifer and I have broken up. I wish her all the best in her future, however I am saddened that her future does not intertwine with mine as Cadence.
Ever & Always,