Blend to be…and live deliberately.

Recently while posting on two different threads were posted, but somehow they intertwined on a level I didn’t perceive at the time. My answers tended to fall along the same patterns. The first question was essentially; Do you blend to pass as a genetic female or do you blend to be respected as a person if you are perceived to be trans.

My response follows;

“I’d have to pick Blend to be…

Blend to be me, to be happy, and blend to be safer, Blend to be wearing that sexy lingerie, little black dress, and heels rather than those ugly slacks and men’s shoes. Blend to be present and I suppose unobtrusive or draw unwanted attentions, blend to be another person at the party, and blend to be satisfied with my efforts. I do not need the respect of people I do not know, I do not need their validation, although it can be welcome if freely given. And do I really have their respect if they have to presume I am a genetic female while in their midst? If they know I’m Trans and respect me for being there dressed as I am, then I’d feel I had made a spectacle of myself. I did not go to a party for attention or being treated differently, I went to be another party goer. Being me is all I can ask for out of life, and nothing makes me happier.”

The second question was; what defines us? Does the clothes we wear define who we are? Will the job you’ll do define who you are? The good things you do or crime you commit will they define you? What defines a human beings. Have we lost the purpose of existence?

My answer follows:

“What defines us is different for each and every person. Unless you are speaking in a broader term and are referring to CD/TG a whole.

On the personal level, who we are defines who we are. Whatever moral guide or compass you follow, whatever decision making process you have, the sum total of your choices good and bad. The legacy you leave, the lives you touch, the absence of your passing, and who feels that. Those are the tangibles and intangibles that represent a small portion of what defines us and makes us who we are.

What we wear does not define us, unless we choose to take that, and the mantle of defending those who wear the same and defend them, and make efforts towards fighting for their rights. Then, in a way, what you wore defined you; it lead you to become an activist for others. But in that example, the act of wearing clothes wasn’t the defining element, it was merely a catalyst for greater things.

As for the purpose of existence; that too is based on each individual. Our goals are our own, what we seek out of life, and what we get out of life are all on us. The purpose of my existence is to simply be. To exist, to leave a good legacy, a positive mark in other’s lives, to be a memory somewhere. To have been the best me I could be, to be the happiest me I can be. To me, that is the epitome of “simply being.” By doing that, we “live deliberately” as Thoreau said.”

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane

What to do…what to do…?!?

Good day dear readers,

Not much has really been going on in my world last few days. I had planned to go out with a friend from Charleston tonight, but the panning on that fell through due to a scheduling conflict. So I was sort of bummed out about that; however Rachel messaged me and asked if I’d enjoy taking some time tomorrow and enjoying a “makeup experimentation day.” I was thrilled of course, another excuse to dress despite the previous event falling through.

So that goes in the win category. So mulling over what I should wear. I was thinking maybe a sporty outfit, since Rachel always wears sporty outfits; yoga pants or running tights, athletic jacket, sports bra…you know that sort of stuff. But Then yesterday I got home from class, and I had a brand new pair of silk stockings from Secrets In Lace waiting on me. So I’d love to wear an outfit where I could enjoy wearing those and a garter belt. I just hate overdressing and risking making Rachel feel awkward or something. So will have to continue to process this.

I’m also toying with still going out this evening as well. I’m leery, especially after a friend on suffered a hate crime assault while out dressed alone. I tend to go out dressed and armed, but you never really want to take safety for granted, no matter what you are considering. So I may run this past Miss Girlfriend just to see how she feels about it.

Anyhow, I’m going to close for now. I think it is a disservice to simply fill a blog with filler when there is admittedly not much to post about.

But I will post again very soon!

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane