Valentines Eve outing 2015

Well, my Valentine’s Eve outing sort of started the day before that on the 12th. I was running errands, trying to do everything that needed my attention on my day off so I could clear the schedule on the 13th; this would allow me to completely indulge myself in Caden for the day, and not have to hurry to do anything. I already had Miss Girlfriends Valentines day covered, so all was set.

My day sort of started with that awkward call from Ulta about my makeover with Rachel. The phone call sort of put me in the right mindset, and I was able to get things done, because my goal was in sight.

I stayed up until 2:30 that night trying on outfits, trying to find the right look, and to accommodate for the cold day we were supposed to have. Not only was I getting the makeover, which I highly recommend, but Rachel was also going to take some head-shots of me for a CD/TG Magazine I’m going to contribute to. So I wanted to be dressed warm since there was no way to know how long the photos might take.

So I finally managed to get to bed, and woke up at 7:15 to finish my prep work, and get rolling out of the door. I got my Caden bags out to the car, under-dressed under my boy clothes, and I was off and running. I just had one thing I had to take care of; playing cupid. I had to go pick up and take flowers to Miss Girlfriend, her mom, and Molly. So I was off and running.

Once playing cupid was done, and I had retrieved my camera gear from Miss Girlfriend, I was on my way to Ulta for the makeover with Rachel. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to eat breakfast in my rush. That’s a bad thing when you’ve had Bariatric surgery. Thankfully, Miss Girlfriend had given me a thing of beef jerky anticipating I’d forget. (What would I do without her?!) So I snacked on that, drank some water, and arrived at Ulta with only thirty minutes to put my face on.

Of course I was only going to put on very minimal makeup, but whats a CD/TG to do right? So I skated with bare minimums, but I have to say, despite a lack of beard cover, it looked pretty good. I wasn’t going to convince anyone, certainly not the makeup artist, but it made me feel comfortable enough, and THAT is what matters. So when I got done, Rachel and I went in, and we started our makeovers.

I have to say, wearing makeup in was good for an additional reason; she had to wash it off of me, which was sort of like a mini-facial rolled into the whole thing. I can only imagine what a full facial would feel like. That is now on my list of things to do as well. While doing my makeup, the artist also told me about their Brow Bar; essentially, you go in, they map out your brow lines, and find the best curve for your face. I’m hoping to do that, so that I can find that perfect delicate balance between femme and metro so I can keep them shaped that way. Anyhow, that is for another visit, another time.

So the artist did an amazing job on me; I was stunned when I looked at myself. And to make it better, she accomplished it without all of that heavy beard cover!! I tried to make as comprehensive a list as I could of what she used, but I am sure I missed some details. I bought about five items that day, but will be buying more very soon. I did learn of one thing; Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray. It’s like hair spray for your makeup…sort of. That stuff turned out to be an awesome find. My makeup stayed perfect most of the day. I also found a new lip color I adore, Laura Geller Chili Spice. Totally awesome color. Also found the perfect eyeliner marker for trying to learn how to do those perfect cat eye effects.

The hair beautician also recommended to me a product for getting rid of beard stubble, I think she said it is called shave magic for men. I have to take that with a grain of salt; I’ve always been told it was an ethnic hair product, and too rough on Caucasian skin. I will try it and let you know. But if it works like they said it would, makeup will be even easier.

So after we got done with the makeovers, we went to Longhorn’s for lunch. That was where the only negative for the day took place. While¬† in the restroom, my Fitbit got flushed down the toilet. I shan’t go into detail; not so much that its bad, just that it wouldn’t be lady like, and its about the restroom.

So once we left Longhorns, we drove to a nice little historic site called Wormsloe for my photos. There is this awesome avenue from the public road up to the old plantation that is lined with trees. Even when I was a photographer, I just have this thing for tree lined avenues.

Anyhow, Rachel took some amazing shots of me! For the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed being in front of the camera. I was able to ham it up, be me, look pretty, and it just felt natural to be in front of the camera. It is still difficult for me to smile for the camera; I feel I haven’t found my femme smile. My smile feels far too masculine and forced. But even my smile as a guy feels forced. I’ve never smiled for pictures. It may be a circular argument in a way; I detest pictures as a boy, so I do not smile, but since I do not smile, they insist on me smiling and taking even more pictures, thereby making me detest male pictures all the more. This then makes me leery of cameras as Caden, and makes it tougher for me to warm up to the camera.

I digress; again. So anyhow, I really was starting to warm up to the camera this time, despite the cold temps, and Rachel was becoming a natural with talking me through it and getting great shots.

So we drove back to my car and had a really deep and fun conversation before she had to go. It was at that point that I fully realized that we had grown closer as friends since we talked about Caden that first time. I’m the same person to her either way, but this has certainly brought us closer, and given us a way to experience our friendship in bigger ways, with far more freedom.

Eventually Rachel had to go, however Miss Girlfriend had managed to get off from work early, and met me at a local mall. We were shopping, but also with a purpose; to find the perfect dress for our cruise.

We started at Macy’s, where I tried on an armful of clothes. We narrowed it down to a cute asymmetrical black skirt and a brown asymmetrical cardigan. I can never have enough drapes and cardigans; have to disguise my shoulders and arms!

We then went to Ross, where we found a cute polka dot dress (I’m crazy for polka dots, I think that ties in to my love of pinup art), a cute black dress with a mesh hem, a black floral lace top , and a cute black and floral sheath dress.

Before I knew it, it was dinner time. Caden had to go because we were not sure if Miss Girlfriends mom would be joining us for dinner. But I was able to make a quick change, and join Miss Girlfriend for dinner. It was a simply awesome day and I spent it with two amazing and beautiful women. My life is richer and fuller for having them both in it.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane

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THE Sorority: Savannah… most certainly not a failure

In an article a few weeks back, I spoke of a Sorority I had attempted to start up here in Savannah. The idea was to create a social and support group that was geared towards a classier presentation and did not delve into the seedier side of things with all the sex. Something this area desperately needed. I had such high hopes for the effort, I had monumental goals too.

I set about setting up a message board for it, and an infant website. Before I knew it, It had twenty members! I was ecstatic, my dream was starting to come true. The bylaws were coming together, we had a group voting on prospective members, it was all coming together nicely.

To this day, I cannot say what happened exactly. But activity dropped off, new membership dropped off; it was devastating to me. THE Sorority: Savannah represented a dream of mine, on a grand scale. I had a vision where the membership dues could eventually go towards a clubhouse, with locker space and changing rooms tailored to our needs, so that sisters who needed to store stuff and change on premise, could. There wa a plan to have bar space, as well as social dens, and our own little ballroom. I was intending to use a business model utilized by Swingers clubs that I had previously visited when I was active in that lifestyle. Those clubs allowed nonmembers to buy into a certain level of access to the club, so that should they decide to show, they were already a member, and had certain perks afforded them. However they would not be full members. Full members of course would pay for that privilege as well.

As I said; I had big dreams. There are several reasons I think membership waned; there were about three key events which took place around that same time. Nothing terrible, there was a specific member I recruited due to her connections within the local community, there were a drive to have our first group outing, and a member had been voted on, and subsequently turned down as a prospect, due to their stalking of one of the newer members. The system we had put in place worked. It allowed us to filter out someone who was a risk to membership and sisters alike. We later learned that the girl in question tended to have a predatory nature with a lot of other CD’s and TG’s. The member I recruited, well, I had heard things, and she had her own groups as well; so I can only wonder what her motives were. But I seriously wonder if the group meeting is what truly shut things down. None o the ladies who were members struck me as being fully or really even part time out. I wonder if perhaps the Sorority was too much too soon, and if they withdrew out of fear of what they felt they were getting themselves into.

I tried to be a good cheerleader; to be positive and supportive, not pushy or demanding, and I feel I had made a few really decent friends. But even those friendships dried up out of nowhere. So for a long time, I took the failure of the Sorority very personal. I felt I had failed to organize it properly, and I felt I had failed as a friend somehow since even those friendships had dried up and flitted away. But then I realized; I had tried. I had stepped from my comfort zones, that safe place where people wish somebody would create or do something that they know they need or want, the safe place where dreams and daydreams happen. I stepped from that safe place into the place of doing it, creating it. I actually made it; it was there for the taking. It was tangible and real, and I had offered it to others. They had simply failed to see my vision, or wish to see it through, or partake. Maybe they lacked the resolve or courage, and no amount of cheerleading I could do would have changed that. I had lived up to my part of the bargain. I created the space for them to be, I had offered my support and my friendship. I had not failed.

That experience served as a springboard for my jump into blogging. I waited a year before I took the leap, I even took a hiatus from Crossdressers.com (not that dramatic kind of “I’m taking a hiatus,” just a quiet sort of semi-lurking.) I was a little gun-shy, I had realized I had not failed, but I did not wish to see my blogging efforts turn out similar to my efforts with the Sorority. But despite that fear and those reservations, I decided to take that leap again. I wrote from my heart, mingled it with the deeper and introspective parts of my mind and soul. And it began to come together. Hoping not to jinx it; but it is still coming together, I certainly hope it will continue to get bigger, and reach it’s audience at every turn. I have legitimately enjoyed every turn in the road of blogging so far, I’ve met amazing people, been able to have amazing opportunities, and expand my horizons as Caden. I now feel like I have more of an identity as Caden, but I also feel as though Caden has a place and purpose in this world now.

Ever & Always,

Caden Lane
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