Its obviously been quite a while since I wrote here. Truth told, I had almost forgotten about this page until I was listing relevant experience for a magazine I’m applying to. So very much has transpired for me since I last wrote, I’m not sure where to start catching things up.
Since I last wrote, my girlfriend Tracy, who I was lamenting wouldn’t stay, didn’t stay. But Ive since moved on to a much stronger, better place and relationship. She helped me through my second bout of cancer, and the way I look at and frame things in my mind now; her presence in my life served the dual purposes of helping me through cancer, and getting me ready to Love my present girlfriend as she needs to be Loved.
I have also had cancer a third time. No, it was not related to the prior Ocular Melanoma, it was a kidney tumor which was discovered when I developed appendicitis. Talk about dumb luck! If my appendix had not ruptured, I would not have known about that tumor for another six months until my next MRI. As it was, I walked around for a month with a ruptured appendix, in denial that anything was even wrong. Amazingly, my prior Bariatric surgeon was able to treat my appendicitis non-surgically, so no new scar on the right side, but the kidney tumor left me with a 14 inch scar on my left side! They also took 25% of that kidney.
While I was out of work and recovering from my kidney surgery, I finally lost all of my vision in my right eye, taking with it my full field of vision, my depth perception and my night vision. Meaning I wasn’t going to be very safe as a cop any longer, so it also took my 20 year long career with it. I lament that fact, as to that point, my coming out had been going smoothly at work, and I was looking forward to my outward physical transition at work, and how that could have impacted the University. I had also came out to a large Facebook community of local law enforcement, many of whom I had worked with in various capacities. Which in turn lead me to come out to my high school class. There was a very small amount of push-back from the Facebook cop community, but I was welcomed with open arms by my graduating class. Unfortunately, my family have turned their back on me. That will probably be as detailed as I will be with that here, it is simply a fact which now steers my life. But I’m okay with being the Rainbow sheep of my family!
Coming out to the Facebook cop group ended up giving me the opportunity to get interviewed and photographed by South Magazine. http://www.southmag.com/Dec-Jan-2019/He-said-She-said/ (((NOT the full article unfortunately))) The photo-shoot was an amazing experience, as was the interview. Having appeared in the magazine Ive been contacted by various people wishing to offer support, some thanking me for letting them know they were not alone, several were thankful for my insight and later conversations, as their children had come out, and they were unsure how to help their child transition.and one or two haters who were just going to hate no matter who I was, so long as I was trans.
I am still on hormones; estrogen AND progesterone, and I am slowly seeing the results I had always hoped for. I’m now a twitch streamer oddly enough, it’s allowing me to create a sense of community and be productive and creative. If you use twitch, just look me up at Twitch.tv/Bourbon_and_Pearls. It is still a growing project, and it has been fun setting it up, editing audio, setting up graphics and banners and every little nuanced thing which goes into setting up a stream channel. Setting up all the social media has been even more detailed, but Ive sen phenomenal growth on those.
I am still concerned the ocular melanoma will come back, that is simply what it does, and in a few more years, my odds get worse. My life has taken a few weird turns for me, but I keep bouncing back. Or I simply figure out a new way to reinvent myself. Reinvent my career, reinvent my life, reinvent my gender. However beating cancer and reinventing myself seems to be that thing that I do. Do I do it well? I do not know…ask me again at the very end. But presently, you will not hear me complain but I am t6hree for three against cancer. Will post again soon!
Cadence Elizabeth V.